


candle in the dark

by Iris_Duncan_72



Series: oread Chan and woodland fairy Felix [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Hurt/Comfort, Kisses, M/M, Oread Chan, Panic Attacks, Permanent Injury, Woodland fairy Felix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 10:39:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18809461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iris_Duncan_72/pseuds/Iris_Duncan_72
Summary: A nightmare brings back terrible memories.





	candle in the dark

Felix woke gasping for breath, his head spinning and the bedsheets a tangled mess around him.

For an agonising moment, he thought he was still in the nightmare.  He could taste the thick, cloying smoke in the air, smell ash and the terrible scent of charred wood and boiled sap, hear the roaring of the fire as it ruthlessly consumed his home, _feel_ the searing _burn_ of flames against his _skin –_

He tumbled from the bed, hitting the floor hard as he choked and coughed.  Tears welled quickly, spilling over when he rolled onto his hands and knees, trying to breathe without retching.

Chan.  Where was Chan.  The oread usually stirred at the first signs of one of Felix’s nightmares and would talk him out of the awful headspace he got stuck in but he _wasn’t_ , Felix was _alone_ , what if the nightmare was _real_ , what if _the_ _fire was real and it had taken Chan from him_ –

A tiny whimper of horror escaped the woodland fairy’s throat and he tried to call out, to find Chan, but there was no air in his lungs.  No strength in his limbs.  No sight in his useless eyes.  Felix collapsed onto his side and curled into a ball, mind awash with panic.  He tried to remember what Chan had said about breathing when the nightmares came for him, what he’d said about them not being real, but _Chan wasn’t here._   He’d promised he’d never leave Felix alone, never let him feel lost and abandoned, _but he wasn’t here –_

‘–lix!’

– he could feel his lungs starting to burn, perhaps he had inhaled too much smoke –

‘–elix!’

– his pulse was pounding in his head, so fast, so loud, he wanted it to stop –

‘ _Felix!_ ’

Wait, what?

‘Felix, can you hear me?’

The fairy’s response was immediate, a colossal wave of relief flooding him even before his brain consciously processed who was speaking.

‘I need you to listen to me, sweetheart.  It’s just the nightmare, okay?  It’s not real, baby, I swear it’s not real.’

There were hands, skimming his hair, touching his damp face, strong and sure as they hauled him up against a warm, firm chest.  _Chan’s_ chest.  Felix nearly choked again as he tried to breathe in the oread’s safe, clean scent and speak at the same time.  He spluttered, fingers curling into fists as they tightly gripped Chan’s soft night shirt and felt a kiss pressed to his forehead, a gentle hand stroking his back.

‘Shh, shh, it’s okay,’ Chan’s soothing voice rumbled above his head and into Felix’s skin where he was pressed against the oread.  ‘It’s okay now, baby, I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone.’  Another tender forehead kiss, fingers lightly cradling his jaw.  ‘Breathe for me, Felix, I’m here, you’re alright.’

Slowly, Felix’s heartrate calmed, his breathing settled, and the final, cloying remnants of the nightmare dissipated.  At last, there were only the silent tears of exhausted grief creeping down his flushed face.  Reliving the violent loss of his home and sight always made him cry.  Chan, sensing he was a little more coherent now, shifted his grip on the fairy, smoothing back his hair and thumbing away the tears on his cheeks.  As ever, the oread took painstaking care around the scar tissue on Felix’s face.

‘Hey there,’ Chan murmured by the fairy’s ear, his breath warm and slightly ticklish.  ‘How are we doing, hmm?’

‘Sorry,’ was the first thing Felix whispered, his voice raspy from all the crying. He could tell it was still nighttime from the cool stillness in the air and he felt bad for disturbing Chan’s rest.  The oread’s sleep schedule was crappy enough without any assistance from him.

Chan, however, let out a slight huff.  ‘Sweetheart,’ he said, his tone mildly rebuking, ‘that’s not what I asked.’

Felix was well aware of that but a decade after the fire happened and the nightmares arrived, he was absolutely sick of it.  He twisted his head out of Chan’s gentle grip, hiding his face against the oread’s chest again; the awful memories always made him extra sensitive about his scars.

‘I’ll be fine,’ he mumbled, sniffing.  His hands were still firmly gripping Chan’s shirt but he made himself let go, sliding them around his lean waist instead.  Nothing made him feel safer than being smothered in and surrounded by Chan’s cedar-scented warmth.

‘Felix baby,’ Chan soothed, voice smooth as syrup.  ‘I know you _will_ be fine because we’ve done this before.  You’re strong enough to get through this, just like you have been for the past ten years, and you know I would never question that.  But it’s alright to be not quite okay just yet.  The nightmares take you back to a traumatic event in your life, it’s perfectly normal to be affected by them.’

‘I don’t _want_ to be affected by them!’ Felix exclaimed, knocking his head against Chan’s sternum for emphasis.  He steeled himself against a fresh wave of tears.  It was so unfair that despite all the scarring, despite his total lack of vision, his eyes still worked well enough to mourn what he’d lost.  ‘Like you said, it’s been _ten years_ and I still can’t go two months without – without _this_ happening!’

Chan stayed silent, letting him vent his helpless anger, his protective hold on the woodlander never slacking.

A sob of sheer frustration wrenched itself out of his throat but Felix forced himself to continue, sucking in great gulps of air in an attempt to maintain some semblance of calm.  ‘It hurts _so much_ and unless you’re there to hold my hand, I have a fucking breakdown every damn time.  I’ve had enough, Chan, I just...’  The ire drained from him as abruptly as it had arrived, leaving him empty.  ‘I just want it to go away,’ he whispered shakily.  ‘I want... I want to see your face again.’

He could almost hear the bones in Chan’s jaw grind as the oread gritted his teeth in sorrowful fury on Felix’s behalf.  Chan inhaled slowly through his nose and Felix could hear his heart pounding heavily in his chest.  Stroking his hands up Felix’s sides to cup his jaw and gently lift his head again, Chan ever-so-lightly bumped their foreheads together.

‘Felix,’ he said.  ‘Felix, my love.  My precious, wonderful forest fairy, who was brave enough to play tricks on a three thousand year old mountain spirit when he was barely a century old.  Who is brave enough to live with this burden on his shoulders every day and has been for an entire decade.  I cannot know the depth of your pain because I do not bear it as you do.  But I understand your grief because I weep with you.’  He lifted one of Felix’s small hands to his own cheek, let him feel the tears there.  ‘You cannot see, sweetheart, but you can still tell the ripest fruit faster than me because you judge by how soft it is, how sweet it smells, how heavy it feels.  You know when I am upset because you listen to my breathing, how heavy my footsteps are.’  Chan turned his head slightly, pressed a gentle kiss to Felix’s palm.  ‘You make me feel loved,’ he whispered, ‘in the way you touch me, like I was built of ice crystals.’

Felix was weeping again but did not interrupt, blindly wiping at the wetness on Chan’s cheek, his other arm still firmly wrapped around the oread’s waist.  Chan trailed delicate fingertips over ruined eyes and roughened cheeks and it was all the younger could do not to flinch.

‘I know you hate these, love,’ the oread continued softly, ‘but to me they are marks of survival.  Nature threw her worst at you and you _survived_.  I see them and my first thought is not to miss your beautiful brown eyes, but to be thankful that you are still here with me, thankful that Nature was merciful enough and you were strong enough to survive and stay here with me.  I know you feel like you’re being a burden to me when you turn to me after a nightmare but I am honoured that you trust me enough to do so.  I am _honoured_ to have these opportunities to make your life easier, to make you smile.’

Chan gave a small, distinctly choked chuckle and, beneath his fingertips, Felix felt the slight dimpling of the oread’s cheek.

‘How could I not be?’ Chan asked, cradling the fairy's face.  ‘How could I _not_ be honoured?  You are the best thing to ever happen to me and I love you so much.  So please, for my sake, don’t beat yourself up about this, Felix.  Give yourself time.  The nightmares _will_ fade, but until they do, I will be here to hold you until you can pick yourself up when they knock you down.’

‘When did you get so damn eloquent?  And _cheesy?_ ’ Felix practically sobbed, knocking them both over as he surged forward to give Chan the fiercest hug he could, tucking his face in the crook of the oread's neck.  ‘You jerk, I love you.’

Chan giggled as they lay there, tangled in one another’s arms.  ‘Anything for you, sweetheart,’ he said, tone lighter now.

Felix pushed himself up onto his elbows, chest still pressed against the oread’s.  ‘Kiss me,’ he demanded tremulously.  ‘Kiss me right now so I can show you how much I love you.’

He took pride in the way the oread’s breath stuttered for a moment before Chan’s hand found the back of his neck and gently tugged him down again.  The kiss was salty with their tears but it was warm and soft.  Felix licked into Chan’s mouth, stamped his love into Chan’s tongue with his own, pressed it firmly into Chan’s plush lower lip with his teeth.  A breathy sound slipped from the oread’s throat and Felix finally smiled, sensing Chan’s blush in the way his body squirmed slightly.

Felix pulled back just enough to whisper, ‘I love you,’ before sealing their mouths again.

Then Chan rolled them over, one hand supporting the back of Felix’s head, the other on his waist.  The carpet was plush beneath him and Felix took full advantage of this, arching his back to press himself up against the oread’s solid figure.  He lifted his hands and immediately tangled them in Chan’s wildly curly hair, tugging him down till his lips brushed Felix’s.  Chan settled more heavily on top of him, enough that the fairy felt safe and secure within his love’s embrace.

Chan teased him with tantalisingly light kisses, pulling away every time Felix tried to deepen them.  When the fairy whined and wriggled in protest, he simply chuckled.  Hands still locked in the oread’s hair, Felix knew exactly what Chan was about to do when he suddenly moved, but Felix couldn’t stop the stuttering squeak he made as Chan latched onto the underside of his jaw with an open-mouthed kiss.  The fairy felt Chan’s lips shape a smile, making him flush, but he forgot any embarrassment when he felt teeth grazing his skin.  He hugged the oread close, whimpering as Chan gently nibbled on and sucked at his chosen area until he was satisfied that the mark was clear enough.  When he pulled back from it, Felix couldn’t help the slight shiver that ran through him as the cool night air washed over the wet, tender skin.

‘Pretty, so pretty,’ Chan cooed in satisfaction.  Kissing and suckling his way down Felix’s throat, he murmured, ‘Always so pretty for me, sweetheart.’

Felix positively melted.  Even after so many years of it, he was still utterly defenceless against Chan’s sweet talk, and like this?  Well –

‘You make me feel beautiful,’ the fairy said, his voice so deep he might as well have swallowed a mouthful of gravel.

Chan nipped sharply at his collarbone, making him squeak again.  ‘Good,’ he said firmly.  ‘I wouldn’t want you to feel anything less.’

Felix let out a breathy laugh as Chan sucked another mark onto his skin.  ‘Not much of a chance of that happening while you’re here to keep saying things like that.  Now –’ he pulled at Chan’s clothed shoulder and hair – ‘come up here so I can kiss you again.’

The oread hummed happily, doing as he commanded.  The kiss was a sloppy mess withfar too much tongue and saliva.  Felix loved it, cupping the back of Chan’s head and stroking his thumbs across the sharp line of the elder's jaw.  Chan balanced on his forearms, bracketing Felix’s head, and curled over him as much as he could get.  When they broke the kiss, they were both breathing hard.  There they stayed there for a long, quiet moment, breathing in each other’s air, feeling each other’s racing hearts.

But the tell-tale tendrils of weariness were creeping into his bones under the haze of pleasure, so Felix tilted his head up a fraction, their lips brushing as he whispered, ‘We should go back to bed.’

Chan fondly nudged his nose against the fairy’s small one.  ‘We should,’ he agreed softly.  With one last little kiss, he lifted off Felix, leaving him feeling cold.

But only for a moment – the oread scooped him up before he could so much as pout, lifting him clean off the ground and placing him gently on the bed.  Felix touched Chan’s wrist in thanks as the elder moved around to the other side of the bed.  They slid under the thick blankets, reaching for each other simultaneously, giggling like children.

‘Thank you, love,’ Felix murmured into the soft quiet, after they’d wrapped themselves around each other.

Chan tucked the fairy’s head more securely under his chin, cuddling him closer.  ‘Anything for you, sweetheart,’ he replied just as quietly.

‘Love you, Chan.’

‘And I love you, Felix.’

With that, they returned to the land of sleep, leaving behind all thoughts of fire and pain, their hearts beating as one.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago and from it came an idea for a full story but that story has run into some problems so if it ever gets completed, it won't be anytime soon. Hopefully this isn't too much of a disjointed mess.


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